Some stories from my past!

 Some stories from my wheeling and dealing past thats going into my online book I'm writing on Patreon...


The Customs and Excise Seal....


Of all the crazy things I came across in my house clearance business and one of the oddest things I found was this old metal handheld press type thing, not sure what you really called it but it looked like one of them things for cutting holes out in your belt, it was old and rugged looking and didnt look like much to me.


I found this in a clearance we did in East Belfast, it was in a fire proof filling cabinet which was locked and we gently got it open without damaging it as I know these cabinets are worth a few quid and I wanted to sell it on.

The seal had along with it lots of other customs booklets and documents that were very old also.


I noticed the seal had numbers on it so I pressed it on a few pieces of paper and it said HM Customs along with other writings and numbers, because this looked so old I thought it would be a collectors item so I put it on Ebay.


Within 5 minutes of listing I was getting messages from Nigerians and Eastern Europeans asking me to stop the auction as they were offering me thousands for it, I wasn't long perking up after seeing this, my mind was thinking all sorts about what I had just came across!

A few minutes later I got a call from the HM Customs head office in London, they said you are in possession of Her Majesties property and having this carries a prison sentence and I should take this off Ebay immediately and the Belfast Customs are on there way right now to retrieve this from you!


In that space of time waiting on them calling, my head was thinking all sorts, wtf had I just came across and after the messages I was getting from the Nigerians and Eastern Europeans, it crossed my mind was it even the customs on their way to collect it, I was dubious about this, my thoughts were it could be our local paramilitaries, I had no idea what to think!


Up the Customs came in a jeep dressed like captains of a ship, no way they were faking this, they were the real deal, they came up and looked in my massive warehouse full of everything from a shoelace to a double decker bus, we had candy floss, a furnace that you could cremate an elephant in and geese running around, the geese were our mascots that I also got in a clearance, even back then there was the light of the Buddha deep in there somewhere, loved my geese, they run around for years!


Anyhow they had no idea what to think, I started to ask them what this was and why is so many people wanting this, they said this was a press they use for sealing up containers after they've been searched by customs, now I knew why people wanted to pay big money for this, they said it would be worth massive money on the continent, with this seal other customs might pass containers on by!

They asked me where I got it from and and I said it came out of a dead persons house and that I never grass up the living and I'm most definitely never grassing up the dead, I dont want no ghost after me, the look on their faces!


I had a way of handling dead peoples stuff in house clearance, I never read their diaries or personal stuff, I have seen weird stuff happen in all my many years of house clearance, ghostly antics which I will tell more in my book, still I get this reoccuring dream every now and again from a house I got thrown across the room after I looked in a cupboard of an old mans bedroom, more on this another time!

Anyhow the customs said this went missing from Belfast port many years ago, they knew who it was that took it and they didnt really know what to do with me with the nature of the business.


I said to them do you mind if I get a photo of me giving yous this over as it would be good publicity for me business and they just looked at me and said do you really think the customs want anyone to know this went missing, dont be going and getting on the wrong side of us they said, fair enough I thought.

I filled out a few bits of paper and they said in all other circumstances I should be arrested for having this but they need to go and back and look into what they're going to do as they've never came across a case like this before....


That buyers of anything sellers of everything and house clearance business can bring some problems into your life, I have been arrested many times for being in possession for illegal things that we have bought in good faith or stuff we have cleared out of a decreased persons house.


My solicitor said something to me once after I kept getting questioned on things by the police due to the nature of my business,


He said Al Capones legitimate profession was a second hand furniture dealer, are you playing Al Capone tricks in there he said as theres not really much the police can do or say with what you just told them, but if you are he said it cant keep working for you!


What a run of bad luck I was having back then, thats why I opt for the simple life these days, so much conformities and nonsense to be dealing with in the pursuit of gathering the toys and tinsel we are all made to believe is lifes big dream, its the souls biggest polluter if you ask me. 


Much prefer to hang out with the trees these days...


#phantomplanters #paramilitrees #phantomplanter #communityspirit 


Peace and love!


I challenge you to phantom plant a tree! Anywhere, anytime, any place.....


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