Another snippet from my book!


Here is another snippet from my book im writing, should be out in another couple of months, taking my time though and loving doing it, pure therapy! 


Chapter 46 - I buy a double decker bus


I always had this idea of getting my own double decker bus, a big old fashioned type one I wanted and go around the city centre collecting people and bring them up to my store, was going to give them free bags of candy floss on the bus and this would be a free bus also.

I knew everyone that came in to the serendipity superstore bought something, it was hard not to walk out of the place and not want to buy something. 

So I thought a double decker bus bringing people up would make me a fortune and would be great advertising and publicity for the business. 


At that time I was looking online for double decker buses and I had seen one for sale in Liverpool, I had just fallen out with fat buddha at the time and we werent talking, cant rememebr what we fell out about this time but as I've said I had a sort of love / hate relationship with him over the years, but fat buddha always said he was a bus driver in Glasgow many years ago, which I never believed - He was a con artist, not a bus driver to me!


But I got excited about this big old bus for sale in Liverpool and me being me I wanted it now, so I called up fat buddha and said, "didn't you say before you can drive buses?

He replied "it's my bread and butter mate"

He said this so confidently I thought it was a con. 


But I said to him if your up for it I'll pay you to come to Liverpool with me to buy a double decker bus and drive it back, fat buddha said no probs and when? 

I said right now, I can collect you in one hour, give me the go ahead and I'll book the flights here now and will come up and get you. 

Your on he said!


I went and collected him and then we got a taxi to the airport, us being us we made a night of it and got completely pissed and run around Liverpool for the night and then hit the casino. 


But we got up the next day and got a taxi to the guy who was selling the bus, I remember being in the taxi thinking what am I at here, I know fat buddha said he can drive double decker buses, but can he really is what I was thinking. 

We get to the place and fat buddha jumps in the bus and he starts asking all questions like he knows what he's talking about, it was a big relief, I actually started to believe him that he really could drive buses!

We done the deal and I bought the bus, think I got it for about 4 grand, now all we had to do was drive this thing to Stranraer in Scotland which is about 300 mile away and get the boat back to Belfast, I wasnt even too sure if you could get double decker buses on the boats with the height of them, I never thought things through, always jumped in feet first. 

We also had no tax, license or insurance either, we just got the bus and drove!

So we get onto the motorway and this bus couldn't go any faster than about 50 miles per hour, I knew we were in for a long journey, I sat up top with a half bottle of vodka and redbull as I was dying with a hangover from the night before and had no drugs with me to pick me up, so vodka and redbull it was.

I sat up top and called Stenaline to book the bus on the boat and luckily enough you could get double decker buses on the boats.

What a relief this was, as I was thinking what am I going to do with a double decker bus that I cant get back home. 

We stopped off and I bought a load of beer and I sat up top for the rest of the journey having a wee party to myself working business moves on my phone.

Even while I was pissed or drugged up I was always doing business, organising deals, working moves and up to all sorts, I ate, slept and sh*t making money, that was my life. 

Little did I know then that this top floor front seat in the double decker bus was to become my secret office with the perfect lookout one day!


We made it to Stranraer and got on the boat, soon as we docked in Belfast and got onto the bus to drive off the thing wouldn't start, we were holding up other vehicles on the boat, it was pretty hectic, we called the guy we bought it off and he told us what to do to get it started again, these old things were complicated for me and this was just the start of the headache of having a double decker bus!


We got it started again and first stop was to pull up right outside my house and get my son on board for spin, my partner back then was so embarrassed me pulling up in our street and blasting this horn in a big old double decker bus and she was not for getting in, my son though who was about 8 maybe at the time came running out and was loving it, he jumped in and was ringing the bells and tooting the horn and we all drove on up to my store which was just up a country road from where I lived. 


More on this chapter in my book coming soon. 


Thanks for reading guys and if you like please plant a tree.

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