A bit about my life situation.

 Good morning guys, I'm going to be completely open, honest and up front about my life situation right now.

just over 5 years ago I gave up alcohol, I was an alcoholic for around 15 years and a serious drug abuser also, drink ruled my life, I couldn't go one day without it, regularly waiting on the off license opening most mornings.

I managed through finding Buddhism to overcome these horrible addictions I had, it took years of battling, it was not an easy thing to do but I did it.

At this time I was living with my dad in a council house, I had to move back in with him because I had been bankrupted and lost my home and business and was penniless.

Then a few months after I escaped the demon drink trap my dad gets diagnosed with brain cancer and given 6 months to live.

His new girlfriend then comes to me saying after hearing the news that my dad has 6 months to live that her daughters are my sisters!


This put my head away, I said to my dad was this true and he denied it, saying that they are all bipolar son, don't listen to them!

My dad had brain surgery then was put on these tablets called Keppra, never guys let anyone you know get put on these tablets, they turned my dad into a vegetable and he had to wear a nappy. 

So during this time I wasn't getting much sense from my dad but it was going through my head was my dad living a double life behind my wee mums back while we were growing up.

My mum had passed away 12 years ago and even in all them years after my dad never brought his new girlfriend near our family home.

The very odd Saturday night she would come over for a drink then my dad sent her home in a taxi.

He never let her into the bed him and my mum slept in together, he was very respectful that way.

But after my dad getting the surgery and not being in the best of states mentally and physically, my dads new girlfriend and her daughters decides to move in to our family home and try and play all happy families.

I gave my dad a terrible time in his last 6 months of living because his new girlfriend and daughters were adamant they were family which my dad kept denying which I never believed him.

My delboy dad was a very wealthy man at one time and still did have a bit of money in his last days and I noticed on a few occasions things were going missing, money and jewelry seemed to be dissapearing. 

My dads new girlfriend and one of her daughters searched and plundered through my family home!

I couldn't hold my temper and as I was just coming off drink and drugs at the time my head was not in the best of places.

They were making me out to be the worst in the world in front of our whole estate and that they were the best things ever.

As I said I was made bankrupt and had no money and I had nowhere to run to either, I wanted away from this situation and felt so trapped.

Then this old man I have known for a very long time said he has a cabin in his yard I can sleep in temporarily until I get on my feet, it was a really old portacabin not in the best of conditions and it had no shower or bath, it was used for offices many years ago and he had it just lying there.

I took him up on his offer just to get away from my dads situation.

My dads new girlfriend and daughter had moved into my family home full time right up until the passing of my dad, then after he passed his girlfriend wouldn't move out, my dad was very well respected around our estate with so many people doing lots for him, she was living of this being treated like a queen.

I had the housing executive on my back saying I'm on the rent book and I need to let them know if I want to carry on living in the house or give it up.

I really couldn't have stayed down there, not after everything that had happened, so I sent my sons mother down to tell this lunatic lady to get out of my family home so I can clear it out and go through all my mum and dads stuff.

She eventually left and I went down and her and others had emptied everything from my family home, saying they sent everything to charity, went through all the clothes and plundered the whole house.

I'm not joking guys, this was the hardest thing in my life I ever had to deal with, I'm just so thankful I had Buddha on my side and had just given up drink and drugs otherwise I'd of done some very stupid things.

My dad left me a bit of money and I put a shower in this cabin im in and got some furniture for it, I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and getting showered in the gyms.

I was struggling mentally with all this and really started to try and put the Buddhist ways of karmic purification into practice, meditating, chanting and the one I really like was karma yoga, selfless service for the benefit of nature and the community.

I had already been planting fruit trees for a few years around this time but nothing like now.

So I setup the phantom planter as my karma yoga practice and decided to spend the money I used to spend on drink and drugs on buying fruit trees for phantom planting around Belfast and beyond as a way of trying to purify my soul.

5 years later and what did start out as a karmic yoga practice has now grew into something massive and worldwide but what has happened to me is my life has become totally consumed by it.

I have one very small cash business selling a product that I've been selling from I was 19/20 years old and it keeps me ticking over day to day, but for the past 5 years I've been living out of the system and mainly focused on my spiritual path and the phantom planter.

Someone really special in my life has bought me a small forest with a river out the back which will be the perfect phantom planters home one day.

But I have found myself in a real predicament, I have no money, I cant even get a mortgage as I've been bankrupt and out of the system.

I really want to build a log cabin in this land but all this costs thousands, I need water, electric, sewage and all that stuff, I need the land leveled and lots of other stuff that cost big money.

The other day I had a real self analysis of my life and situation and I could see that the more trees I plant, the more the phantom planter goes on the more this is going to be my life full time.

It already is nearly my life full time, hours every day is spent doing something to do with the phantom planter or trees and the community.

I need out of my rotted cabin, I cant go another winter in here, parts of it I can poke my finger through it, when I store clothes in my drawers for any length of time when I pull them out they are all mouldy.

I really need to make money to get myself out of here!

I really hate asking you guys for donations, but all the work I do is visible for all to see, just go through all my posts and have a look or even google the Belvoir Memorial Orchard and go down and have a look.

I've setup a Patreon account where you can subscribe for £3.50 a month, this way I sort of know where I stand each month money ways and can plan some some stuff or you can donate with the paypal link also and you can setup a monthly payment for as much as you like on there. 



I would really appreciate all your help guys, once I get my cabin built all the extra money I get will be going back into phantom planting fruit trees for the community.

I'm not into fast cars or big houses, or even gadgets like the toys and tinsel we are sold.

My life is simple, my holidays are living in my van and in the forest, getting washed in waterfalls, I only need money to build my log cabin and thats it.

Thank you to everyone who has donated to me so far, really appreciate all this, from the bottom of my heart it means the world to me.


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